


the memorial

by BlueKappa



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd Angst, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Mention of Off-Screen Character Death, Protective Bruce Wayne, Sleepy Cuddles, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueKappa/pseuds/BlueKappa
Summary: Jason is not okay with his memorial in the Batcave.ORBruce realizes that not everyone copes the same way as him, and he has been unintentionally hurting his son.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 6
Kudos: 164





	the memorial

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Hyperventilating, Anxiety attack/PTSD symptoms

After the first time Jason was in the Batcave when he was finally on better terms with the family, he never came back. 

Granted, he still showed up at the manor and was cautiously becoming part of the family again, but if everyone went down to the Batcave, whether it be to get ready for patrol or training, he would make a flimsy excuse and leave.

If he got injured on patrol, he would disappear before his family could offer to take him back to the cave for medical assistance. Bruce had moved all hero discussions to the family dining room because Jason wouldn’t show up if they were in the Batcave. Tim had once tried to lead Jason down to the Batcave, pulling his sleeve lightly and claiming he needed help on a case, but Jason shoved Tim away from him, _hard,_ before they even got to the study. Tim stumbled and fell, confusion on his face, but it was nothing compared to the pained look that painted Jason’s face. The older mumbled an apology and disappeared to his room for the rest of the night. It was infuriating and Bruce didn’t know _why_ it was happening _._

It was a quiet night in the Batcave. Bruce was up late working into the early hours of the morning on a trafficking case. He had sent Tim up to bed less than an hour ago after the boy had fallen asleep for the second time draped over paperwork. He hoped the boy had actually done as he asked and not just taken his work to his room.

Bruce was alone in the calm comfort of the cave except for the clicking of the keyboard. The serene silence was broken, albeit gently, by footsteps nearly undetectable to the ears of anyone other than a bat trained to recognize them.

Bruce could recognize all of his family’s individual walks, but he couldn’t have heard right when the soft, slow pattering of Jason’s feet hit his ears. Jason’s steps stopped abruptly, and Bruce spun around in the chair, trying to see what his son was doing.

For Jason to come into the cave willingly? It set Bruce on edge.

Jason was standing in front of his memorial. His old bloody, torn Robin uniform. His son’s body was tense and his eyes searched the uniform desperately as if looking for something. The young tragedy reflected dimly against his miracle son’s face. Bruce sucked in a sharp breath and closed down the bat computer.

“Jaylad?” Bruce asked, slowly approaching his second eldest. Jason’s eyes flickered to his before returning to the memorial. He stared at it as though it was his enemy and, if he took his eyes off it for a second, it would attack.

“I need you to remove it,” Jason said, voice steel and monotone. Yet his eyes betrayed him as always, full of pain and hurt. ~~Bruce was tired of seeing that look in the eyes of his children.~~

“Need me to remove what, son?”

Bruce was certain he already knew the answer.

“This!” he jerked his head at the memorial. “Whatever this is. A tribute? A reminder of who I used to be? I can’t—”

Jason took a deep breath, running a shaking hand through his hair, and steadying himself as turned to face Bruce. 

“I can’t be reminded of everything that tattered suit represents every time I come down here. I lost you and Dick and gained so many worse things,” he whispered.

Bruce reached out for Jason’s shoulder, holding it steady and tight. Jason allowed it, discreetly wiping a rogue tear from his eyes with his thumb. “Jaylad, when I lost you… nothing was worth it anymore. I needed a reminder of how I _failed you_ to keep myself going.”

Jason’s head shot up so he was glaring directly into Bruce’s soul. Eyes red and puffy and full of emotion that screamed agony. 

“I’m here now. Isn’t that enough? _Aren’t I enough for you?_ I’ve tried so hard to do everything right, everything by your books and you still have this horrible reminder here! _‘Jason Todd, a good soldier.’_ Is that all I am to you, Bruce?” Jason's voice was loud with unhinged anger yet failed to hide the underlying anguish. 

Bruce swallowed. His sweet boy. Did he really think…? Jason was never just a soldier, _he was never a soldier at all._ Just a boy who cared too much about a world that never batted an eye at him. Guilt flared in him like a weight dragging him down. How long had Jason been feeling this way? 

“Jason, you can’t understand. I lost my son. My little boy,” he stroked Jason’s cheek, trying not to be fazed by the way Jason flinched away. “I needed—”

“I needed my dad!” 

The silence of the cave suffocated them. 

He knows, he knows he wasn’t there. He would live with that guilt for the rest of his life, but he was here now. Jason _needed_ to know that. His son hiccuped, trying to hold in his emotions and be as strong as he always pretended to be. 

“I needed my dad. And you weren’t there. And I was alone,” Jason sobbed and fell to his knees. His body trembled with all the pain he had been carrying for too long by himself. Bruce followed his son down, moving next to Jason and wrapping his arms around him to support his weight. Jason leaned on him heavily, gasping as he tried to get in a breath. 

“Jason, breath. Breath, son.”

He bit his tongue on telling Jason that he was okay. Because Jason wasn’t okay, that much was clear, and Bruce had been ignoring it in hopes of having his perfect family. Bruce rubbed Jason’s back, feeling helpless and unsure how to comfort his son.

“I was alone. I was so alone. The grave and the pit, and, and then Talia. And it was all madness and green, and I was so angry. And I hurt Tim, and I hurt you, and Dick, and Damian, and I’m _sorry_. And I just wanted my dad. I just wanted to know that you cared,” Jason sobbed, letting the words fall from his mouth freely. 

“And this stupid memorial!” He let out a choked, twisted laugh. “Every time I see it, I’m hit with all the memories and the reminders that I’m not that little boy you love anymore.”

Jason shuddered and let out a pained whine. “I can’t stop hearing the laughter, Dad. It won’t stop.”

Bruce shushed his son, tears clouding his own vision, as he rocked them. His son was in so much pain, and he had been blind to all of it. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I should’ve known you felt this way. I love _you_ , Jaylad. Whoever that may be, you will always be my son. I’ll take it down tomorrow, okay? I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

Jason bobbled his head rapidly, muttering something along the lines of a thank you. Bruce gripped him tight, letting his own tears fall onto his son’s head. “I’m here now. Dad’s got you.”

Jason nodded, still weeping and flinching at phantoms that Bruce couldn’t see.

“Why don’t we go upstairs and get some sleep?”

Jason nodded tiredly, yet didn’t move out of Bruce’s arms. Bruce stood first and pulled Jason with him, supporting most of the boy’s weight. Together, they made their way out of the cave and to Bruce’s room.

Jason didn’t protest the location, just dropped himself onto the bed and looked at Bruce through tired eyes. His breath was still uneasy and hitched every other second, but it was better than minutes before. Bruce got in as well and pulled Jason tight against his chest. 

Hopefully, his arms would remind the boy that he was here and not going anywhere anytime soon. Hopefully, they would be the barrier between Jason and anything that wanted to hurt him. Hopefully, they would be enough this time.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart. You’re safe,” Bruce whispered. Jason ducked his head and nodded, clutching Bruce’s shirt in his hand like a lifeline. Bruce’s heart ached at the childish gesture that was so similar to the little boy he had taken in years ago.

Jason pushed his head against Bruce’s shoulder, breathing deep through the aftermath of his tears. Bruce let him, welcomed it even. He hummed softly, running his fingers through Jason’s hair. His son loved it when he was younger, and judging by the way Jason absolutely melted, tension bleeding from his body, he still did. 

“Love you, Dad,” Jason murmured so quiet Bruce almost didn’t hear him.

His eyes stung at the sudden sleepy declaration. Bruce didn't deserve Jason’s love after all that had happened to him. After all that Bruce had let happened. After he had continuously reminded Jason of his worst memories. A single tear slipped down his cheek.

He wiped Jason’s hair gently away from his face, a broken yet fond smile gracing his lips when he saw Jason had fallen asleep, head pillowed on Bruce's shoulder. At peace and trusting of a father that didn’t deserve it. Bruce nearly burst at the rush of love that flooded through him, powerful and unwilling to bend. He was okay with it though, Jason deserved it and so much more. _Jason deserved to feel loved and wanted_. He pressed a gentle kiss to his son’s forehead and closed his own eyes. 

They would be okay. He would make sure of it.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Bruce and Jason wake up to Dick jumping on them and complaining how he wasn't invited to the cuddlefest.


End file.
